ulaiwjhfaliuhfsapuihawo;hhewaoiu (the sound my brain is making)

have you ever wished you could unlearn something? have ever wish your brain was like a computer and you just delete unwanted information? i'm wishing that right now. this is one of those days i would right a song about. but i can't think anything. my fellings are stuck it's like shellshock. i'm angry, and jealous, sad and longing and i don't know what the fuck else. i.........fuck. it feels like a tension headache only hollow, i know i promised i would give you guys a critique of hsm but i can't think enough to do such things. i'd tell you what the fuck i'm talking about but i've been sworn to secrecy. why am i always the last one? all my other friends have their girlfriends/boyfriends that thier completely in love with. why not me? the world confuses me. humans more so.

On second thought....

The ending was good

Oy vey!!!

Ugh...I'm watching the play version of high school musical. I'm going to critique it later, it will not be a thumbs up kind of thing. Let's just say right now I am not impressed.

wierd....

last nite (or the nite before i don't remeber) i told emily i liked her. i actually compared how much i liked her to the number of people that died in 9/11. sad, huh? and i was wander around on facebook (no surprise) when i saw a picture on emily's cousin julia. she's prettty damn fucking hottt (yes with 3 t's). emily's hot too, but in a different way. in my book there are three types of girls: 1. girls you sleep with x amount of times, 2. girls you date, and 3. girls you date and sleep with. emily's a 3 so's her cousin. that reminds me. monday i went to hy vee and i saw auriel and her mom their and auriel was buying a shit load of donuts, i made fun of her for than on my radio show several times. XD and her mom winked at me. which should probably creep me out but it doesn't. the only things in the world that scares me is elevator (thanks to the hollywood tower of terror) and rollercoasters. if i ever become head of disney world i'm having that ride distroyed (preferably with rocket launchers and/or nukes and/or f-18's and/or tanks). back to my earlier ranking thing. dani's a 2, kt's a 2....there are other's but i'm toolazy to list them all right now. i wish i owned all the episodes of teen titans. i've been dl'ing that show religously lately. i love it. i hope emily hurries up and get's back from bible camp in fucking Michagan.

listening to ashley by escape the fate. it's playing in my head over and over and over

Hello friends (from the wolrd of the apple)

Hi guys what's up? I'm doing this from my itouch so unfortunately this isn't a real post. Don't worry nothing new has happend. I'm just doing this for shits and gigles

yeah....

long time no post i thought i'd update you all. i was talking to sebas yesterday, so who knows i might be friends with him again. i'm kinda sorta dating this chick allison, she's not the hottest chick in the world, and i'm not into like i am emily or was with dani, but since emily refuses to speak to me since our hook up.

interjection--yes i hooked up with emily the girl who claims to hate me to the ends of the earth. it was on the 4th or july we were talking on her front yard and it just kinda happened. no we didn't fuck, but since she CLAIMS to not remember any of it, i shouldve gone for it. jeez the way she was kissing me...i don't care what she says i know she likes me, maybe not LIKE, like me. but she doesn't hate me. but these days all she does is play halo 24/7 and chat with her halo friends who also want to date her, and she's all into them and shit. and it make no sens to me didn't she learn with joe (her ex-"fiance")?! long didstance relationships don't work. didn't work for beth, they've never worked for emily, and me and allison won't work either. --end interjection

i kno this is gonna sound bad but the only reason i let her think i'm her boyfriend is cause i the FTE OG have never gotten laid, and i'm reaching the end of my rope. i don't really want to lose my virginity to her (i hope it won't come to that), but a bj or 2 never killed anybody. the second time we hung out she let me see and play with her boobs. so, yes she's loose. she carries a shitload of condoms in various sizes. so does her bi firend, erica (or maybe with a k), but erica is dating a lesbian has been for the last 2 years. but damn she's fuckin hot. she's 4' 9" i'm 6' 5" i would pretty much destroy her if we did shit. but i met them on wednesday allison dragged me to some youth group it was boring as sawdust. ther was this other hot who was gues what? a lesbian. it fucking sucked there was this other chick there who i wanna get with too. yes i realize i'm becoming a douche but maybe if i could find the right girl for me i wouldn't have these thoughts. i know theres a girl out there that i would wait for, even if it was till she was 85 (not that long hopefully but you know what i mean. and yesterday was kt and sebas's one year aniiversery (lucky vampires). i think dani and evan are getting close to their 6 month mark. so yeah, everone's pairing off. not nearly as bad as last year, but still it's infuriating. i'm running out of time in high school to find my match. but then again i'm not from this state. everyone i hang out with is from here all their mates are from here. i should go back to my birthstate. see if i can find her there. ah, how i wish i could live forever (not not as a stupid sparkly vampire [team jacob fo life]), but maybe as a robot. like terminator only more human, and without the overwhelming need to kill shit. well i'll be looking though next years freshman for my match. i don't kno why people freak out when seniors date freshman, it really isn't that big of a deal as long as they're into each other, it's ok. now seinor and freshman hookups....slightly less ok but i cansee why people would hate THAT. in other news i have an ipod touch, since my old mp3 play got dropped in the rain and no longer works. i like it. so yeah that's about it. but all i know is if emily would go out with me, i'd totally drop allison. auriel would say i'm pulling a sebas, but i disagree. i tihkn as disfunktional as their relationship can be at time (i nearly broke knukle one time it infuriated so much) i am forced ot admit that he does love her, inhis way.

update! and the end of another chapter

hey everybody! as of like 2 ays ago i broke up with beth. i'm not telling the reason because i'm not fully sure of it myself. and the day after i did auriel asked "so you guys broke up huh?" i said yeah. that didn't bother me any but then beth's friend britney ccam on and was like "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BRAKE UP WITH BETH?!" andi ignored her. and you know what kt's all pissed at me cuz i broke up with beth over internet. admitedly not the bravest way to brake up with a chick but i was nice about it! i just said "i think we should go back to being friends" is that reall all that bad?! NO! is kt completely overreacting?! YES!! especially since she sent emily to brake up with me! at least i did it myself! anyway i've moved on and beth hasn't (not really). as i put it to auriel. i'm pretty sure i was beth's dani (all of my hardcore followers know what that means). so now i fell sorry for dani having to put up with my moping for all those months. but like i said i've moved on. in fact i'm gonna go hang out with this cheerleader girl on 4th of july up in keosaqua or someplace. hell we might do stuff we might just make or who knows maybe she'll be girlfriend #4! we'll just wait and see. we've been talking on myspace (she thinks i'm cute :3) so we'll se how it plays out. i'll keep you informed!