hey.

i apologize for my REALLY awkward ending to my last post. but anyway....drum roll plaese....I GRADUATED!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! i thouroughly thought i wasn't gonna but i did! and kt's mad at me again because she's been talking to deven (my crazy, emo ex girlfriend). which is weird because up until like yesterday i thought they stil hated each other. but they don't and now she's telling kt that i said all this stuff kate to deven which may or may not be true (i don't remember all the shit i say to people). but kt got all pissed off, and i'm just hurt that she would believe a compulsive liar over me. i only lied to her once and it REALLY wasn't THAT big of a deal. see if i was sebas she wouldn't give a fuck. it's bullshit. it kind of annoys me the special treatment he gets. and his hypocrasy. see this one guy in his class (he's a junior) hooked up with this 8th grader (they fucked in other words) and he's all talking about how that's wrong and shit. but back when that same 8th grader wanted to get with me this one day he was all for tryna hit that (in other words he was tryna have a threesome) so that right there. and THEN there's the whole him and kt deal. my theory is if you're gonna be all handsy all over someone and tell them you love them all the time you have the obligation to date them. he won't date her i don't know why. they fight the same as they used to. they fuck like they used to....so why the fuck don't they just make it official already? yeah i know i rant about this alot. i AM over her, we're just friends now but it still pisses me off. maybe i should be a manipulative asshole too and then I'LL get all the girls. in more recent news, i think i've discovered my niche. this year, i've helped two girls cheat on their boyfriends, one is deven and then other i cannot say, because i'm working on my secret keeping abilities, but her bf had already cheated on her twice. you know that dude i mention earlier that did an 8th grader? that dude is her bf. so we made out, it was great. :) she's the 2nd best kisser i've ever met. the first is kt, and nothing can beat that, but this girls is pretty damn good. we made out once last year too. so i'm kinda hoping this becomes a regular thing, she liked she even told me so, but she said that she'll never let that side of her out again, and i'm thinkin "yeah and your boyfriend won't fuck other girls while you're up at college" god i hate these girls that date TERRIBLE guys. kt, emily....i know there's more but i just can't think of them right now. see dani wasn't desperate when she chose to date evan (or maybe she was who knows?) but they have a healthy relationship...kind of. admittedly evan NEVER really stands up to dani, but nobody ever really stands up to dani. she's not scary she's just....idk. bright. not like intelectually (even tho she sure as hell ain't dumb) i mean like her personality, she's always optomistic. but since evan is off to basic this summer, she's going to be all miserable and shit, i'm gonna cheer her the hell up this summer.
now enough about the women (even tho this topic will turn into a rant about the girls i know) ihave decided this summer that i'm gonna become a rapper. i'll be like a good version of ICP (in the sense i will rap about shit that makes no sense to anybody), but i'll make it make sense. i've already go the title planned for my first single...but i found out someone bought the rights to the instrumental i wanted, so i have to find another that will fit or must make a freestyle and make no money off of it :( and i like my money! ther WAS another one that worked by a producer named DATBOIBEEZO, but i'm not sure which one it was :\
back to the women now. so last night i fingered some chick, it was incredibly entertaining! see this chick was kinda small and my fingers are huge so she said one wasn't enough so i went for 2 and hloy shit she was all moaning and shit it was funny. i think she was playing it up alot but who cares i was entertained enormously. so if she can barely take two of my fingers then i think if we'd actually done it then she'd've gone crazy. -chuckle- who cares tho, it'll never happen again. that was my lapse of judgement for the summer.
i hate how all my friends are still in skool and i'm not. because kt's not talking to me cause of what dvn said. so me and kate prolly won't hang out at all this summer. emily right now is in vocational bible skool 9_9 and all my OTHER friends are lower classmen so i can only see them at lunch and after skool. till friday then they're all done with skool. but next week i have band camp and 2moro i'm giving 2 weeks notice to my current job. because IT'S SO FUCKING BORING!!! and i have to work 8 or 9 hour shifts. i want to kill myself by the end of it. x_x so i'm applying for a job at pizza ranch as a driver, because i'm good at that. i'm gonna have to learn the names of streets. but i already know where everything is in this town. just not street names. that's about it....oh, one last women thing. i might be getting a new make out buddy soon....see's super cute AND she's a virgin! which means IF we do do it well both be terrible :D but i don't think that'll happen. her name is ally (which is short of alexandria, as oppose to allison [which is what it normally is short for]). well we'll see how that goes. she just broke up with her boyfriend so she not feelin the best right now, admittedly i may have a slight unterior motive for comforting her, but even if nothing happens between us we'll still be friends.
oh, my latest development in my mental sanity. i'm not letting myself develop feeling for anyone which is good, kind of exhausting but good, i got over kt this way in the span of two days. i noticed recently that if i have a make out session with a girl i kinda sorta like i develop feelings for them, so my new defense method doesn't allow the seeds of love to take root. HAHA!! it's weird people say they have now control over their feelings , but in reality.....wait......damn.....dani was right..... :[ sadface. oh well. that is all for now. i'll talk to you all later :)