remember that one girl i said i was gonna make out with over spriing break? that was kt. a week later we dated for five days. after that she figured out she wasn't over sebastian, and is currently trailing him like the lovesick child i usually am. but since then i've barely talked to her especially cause now we are no longer firneds. i miss her so much......she hates me cuz i lied to her about something.....i can't tell you what but involves her brother. he sold me out bc i'm friends with his gf and he thought i told kt stuff about what they did. and maybe i did. but she asked! and i normally don't lie to her because i.....love her......as pathetic as that sounds....she WAS my best friend.....she was the most important person to me....sh was my oldest and bestest friend. and she's gone....and probably won't come back. i will always love her and i will probably end up like charlie sheen on 2 and 1/2 men. and screw random chicks to hide my secret inner pain....and i'll probably die with her hating me. their are only two people in this world who i would die for. like get-shredded-to-pieces -while-fighting-to-save-their-lives die for. dani and kt.....all i have left is dani. and she doesn't have a cell phone and she's never on facebook when i'm on plus she's just not the same to talk to....kt somehow ALWAYS understood my problems........unfortunatle im dead to her. honestly i would pull a davy jones and carve out my heart if it make her take me back...but it won't nothing will.....so i will have to live with my mistake. but what really pisses me off is that she she can rip out my heart but i can;t lie to her. it's not fucking fair. she shouldn't be allowed to be mad at me. she left me for sebastian (although they aren't actuallly back together, they might as well be.) am i not entitled to a LITTLE leeway? nope. i screw up it's the end of the world. he cheats on her is verbally abusive and treats her like crap and he's a fucking saint. women suck. i hate her, but i love her. i wanna kill her but i wanna to live. want her to be happy, and i guess that's not with me. so i'll let her go find her glee, in some asshole that won't treat her she'll come crawling to me when he pulls out a knife. here's what i'll say with a smile and a grin you should've chosen me over your next of kin. it kinda rhymes. it's a bit awkward in the begining but i digress. my point is i love her now and forever.....kate i love you and i'm sorry.
it's not like she'll ever read this.....but still.......i'm kinda worthless.....i shouldn't've lied........i feel the need to die. maybe i'll go do that ^_^ till next time my adoring fans.....
